Practical ways a man can serve his wife – part 1

Guys, you have wondered all of your life what women want. When we were writing the premarital class that NewSpring offers, I got the opinion of my wife and several of the ladies on my staff to come up with this list. Doing these things, is a great way to show your wife in a tangible way that she comes first in your life.

1)    Be home on time.


When you say you are going to be home at a certain time you need to be there.  Here is how it works for Suzanne and I.  She knows that every day I am striving to be home between 5:15 and 5:30.  If my schedule ever deviates from that, she knows that ahead of time.  Also, if I am ever going to be late, I call her and explain why.  The reason why this is important is because my wife needs me home and wants me home.  I would much rather it be this way then her not care when I walk through the door.

Guys, this is a matter of integrity.  Are you a man of your word?  When you say you are going to do something, do you follow through?  Honor your word and honor your commitments.  Do what you say you are going to do even when it’s hard.  This is a lesson that my dad drilled into me when I was growing up.  He taught me to be a man of integrity.  He didn’t just tell me how to have integrity, he showed me. Thanks dad!

Being home on time is a way we can show our wives that they are important to us and we value the time we have with them.  Our wives need to know that when we say we are going to do something, that we do it.


2)    If your wife calls answer the phone


You can see my thoughts on this here.

3)    Remember important dates

There are these things called anniversaries and birthdays (Christmas and Valentines day come the same time every year too).  They are important to our wives and we need to honor her and celebrate her on those days.  We need to communicate with our wives and figure out what their expectations are for special dates in our lives.  Then we need to serve her by making those a priority and making her feel special on those days.


4)    Continue to date her

We have to continue to pursue our wives after we marry them.  When we get married there is this sense that “I won her” and we feel like we don’t have to try so hard to impress her.  I will admit that marriage changes things.  Before you got married, you dated your wife because that was the main way you spent time together.  Because you were not living together, the time you had together had to come in the form of a planned time to be together.  When you get married and are living together, the nature of dating changes.  You are naturally together more, so going on dates is not the only way you spend time together.

What does this mean for married guys?  We need to continue to pursue our wives.  Dating gets us out of our normal routines and gives us focused time with our wives so that you can focus on your relationship and spend time together doing the things that you enjoy together. 

One of the questions I ask couples that come for marriage counseling on a regular basis is when is the last time you went out on a date…without the kids?  One of the main reasons that marriages struggle is because couples do not take the time to focus on their relationship and spend positive time together.  Every couple needs to make it a priority to spend the time together that they need to keep their relationship healthy.

Gentlemen, we need to call our wives on the phone and ask her out just like we did before we put a ring on her finger.  It is our responsibility to lead…and we need to do it especially in this area. 

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