Practical ways a man can serve his wife – part 3

7) Be Perceptive

The definition of perceptive is – Responsive to sensory stimuli…Characterized by sympathetic understanding or insight.  This means we need to respond to her, to practice active listening, and that we seek to understand how she feels and what she needs.  This does not mean that we have to read her mind or always know exactly what she wants (Ladies if you have something you need your man to do, don’t assume he will just know.  One of the main reasons expectations don’t get met in marriage is because they are not communicated well).  But guys, we can’t be dense about everything either.  Part of our wives knowing that we listen to them is the way that we focus on them and be perceptive to what they need and desire from us. 

I believe that husbands are called to be students of our wives.  We need to learn that our spouse is unique, she will never fit the stereotypes of what the world says makes her tick.  God made her unique and gave her to us to serve her and take care of her.  To do that we must…take time and learn who she is…to understand what her personality is like…to know what she is insecure about…to listen to her dreams and know what she wants to accomplish in life…to know what she likes and dislikes about herself.

Proverbs 24:3 says…”By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.”

We need to understand our wives.  The only way we will do this is by really listening to her and being perceptive and responding to what she needs.

 
8) Never make disparaging remarks about her

We must honor our wives by the way we talk about them in public.  So let me follow my own advice and do that for a second…(I am so in love with Suzanne.  I think she is awesome and is an amazing wife and mom.  I respect her so much and the person that she is, is a challenge to me in every aspect of my life.)  I want her to know that I believe that…and I also want other people to know that and understand how great she is too. 

So how do we honor our wives in this way…First, we need to be open with our emotions and tell our wives how much we love them and be specific with what it is that we love about them.  And when she tells us she is tired of us telling her and others how great and beautiful she is, we need to be perceptive and say it some more!  Second, we need to guard our tongues and not make sarcastic comments about her in an attempt to try and be funny.   If you have ever introduced your wife as the “ole ball and chain,” you need to call her right now and ask her to forgive you.  Last, we need to choose not to vent our frustration or anger to others.  If she has said or done something to upset us, we need to love her enough to work through what has hurt us with her and not bash her to other people.

Here is some scripture to think about as we all consider how we can improve in this area:

Proverbs 12:18 – “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.”

Col. 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.”

Eph. 4:29 – “Don’t use foul or abusive language.  Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragment to those who hear them.”

 

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