Practical ways a man can serve his wife – part 5

11) Take pride in your physical appearance

When I was in College, I played basketball and worked out every day. I could eat anything I wanted and I couldn’t gain a pound. Suzanne and I got married the week after we graduated from college, and after that things changed. I was not as active with basketball and working out as I had been, and my wife was a cooking machine. The first year we were married I gained 15 pounds, my energy level dropped, and the way I felt about myself was not good. I realized that after marriage this sense of “winning” the other person set in and I was not as committed to taking care of myself as I needed to be.

1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

One of the ways I can serve my wife and kids is to make sure that I am doing my part to stay healthy, so that I can be there for them one day when I am old and not check out 20 years early because I didn’t take care of myself the way I should.

For me this includes eating right, lifting weights, and running. I am committed to doing these things on a regular basis because they help me with my stress, I feel better after I do them, it shows my wife that I care about her and want to look good for her, and most importantly it is a way that I can honor God and use wisely one of the gifts He has given me.

Guys…are you honoring God with your body?

12) Lead Spiritually

The spiritual life of a couple is one of the least talked about areas in marriage, and as a result one of the reasons that many couples struggle in their marriages. God has called the husband to be the leader of his family, and to do this he must lead spiritually.

I heard Voddie Baucham talk about this one time and it set me free. I can’t quote him word for word, but it went something like this…

The Husband is the head of the home and I don’t make any apologies for that…I am not the leader of my home because I’m bigger or louder…or because I beat my chest and say “I man, you woman, I say, you do.” I am the leader because the Bible says that God set it up this way. And if you have a problem with it – take it up with the author. And ladies you want your marriage to have only one head. Anything that has 2 heads is a monster – and you either need to kill it or put it in the zoo. My Responsibility is to lead in love and be lover #1 for my family.

Whenever I meet with couples for premarital counseling, I always spend a lot of time talking to guys about this. This is so important, and many guys have misconceptions about what it means to lead spiritually. You do not have to have all the answers to every question your wife and kids ask or have the Bible memorized to lead spiritually. All it takes to lead spiritually is to have a growing relationship with Jesus and an openness to hear God’s voice and do what He says. If you will do that every day, God will give you the wisdom to lead your family and make decisions that honor him. But, you can’t lead your family spiritually, until you are willing to grow spiritually yourself.

Are you growing the way you need to? Are you leading your family in time in scripture? Are you leading your family in prayer? Are you praying for your wife and children every day? Are you taking the opportunities that God gives you to point your wife and kids to Jesus?

Ephesians 5:25 – Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

The way we serve our wives in this area is by stepping up and being a leader…but not a leader by the world’s standards. We are called to be servant leaders. We should be the first to serve. We should be the first to sacrifice. We have to lead by putting aside our pride and selfishness and what we feel like we are entitled to. And we have to lead by choosing to serve her.

This takes our time, energy, and focus. It takes dying to ourselves. But if husbands will lay it on the line for their wife and serve her and love her the way Jesus served and loved and sacrificed everything for the church…they will be successful as husbands. And I truly believe that a wife that has a man that leads her through serving and shows her by his actions that he will love her and sacrifice for her, then she will have no problem respecting a husband like that, she will have no problem submitting to a leader like that, and she will in return serve her husband the way she is called to in scripture without reservation. But all of that starts with a man being willing to be open to God every single day, submitting himself to God’s standard for marriage, and choosing to be a servant.

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