God’s Purposes for Marriage – Part 1

I wrote in a post several months ago about Why God created marriage and how He designed it.

I believe that if God designed marriage, then He has specific purposes for marriage.

What are God’s purposes for marriage?

1) Intimacy

Many people think that intimacy is a 3 letter word that starts with “s” and ends with “x”. But I believe that intimacy is so much more than that.

Genesis 2:24-25 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”

This passage is a great picture of the physical intimacy that Adam and Eve shared, but it is even a greater picture of the emotional and spiritual intimacy that they shared. This is the picture that I believe God wants for our marriages too. Adam and Eve shared “oneness” in this verse. My definition of oneness is having complete openness and transparency with each other. Scripture says that they were both naked, and they felt no shame. I believe that in that moment they both were looking at each other and were completely bare before each other in every sense of the word. In other words they looked at each other and were completely transparent with each other in every way, and there was no fear of rejection.

That last phrase is the key. No fear of rejection. Without that, no marriage will get to the place where a couple can be vulnerable and open with each other and have the intimacy that God desires for them to have. The problem is that we as human beings do have a fear of rejection. We don’t trust very easily, and we live in a culture where many times even in marriages people betray and hurt one another. No matter how good or bad your marriage is, you will each do things that will hurt each other from time to time. Some days you are not going to do it right, but what makes a marriage work through these times is getting to a place where you know that your spouse accepts you and will never reject you.

Suzanne has always modeled this for me. My wife knows everything about me…the good, the bad, and the ugly. She has always proved to me that I can tell her anything and never have to be afraid of being rejected by her. This has enabled me to be more open with her and trust her with anything. We have not always had that level of transparency, but it is something that we work hard at. Because of that openness, we have a lot of hard conversations sometimes, and speak truth that is hard to hear to each other. But because of that openness and transparency we also have an unbelievable friendship, trust, and respect for one another.

No matter where you are in your marriage today, you can get to the place where you have oneness with your spouse. That will take both of you being vulnerable and open and transparent with each other. You will have to be open about things in the past that you have struggled with, and things that you are struggling with right now. It will also take a lot of trust and forgiveness. It is not easy, but it is better than the alternative of just having someone that you share life with but doesn’t really know you because you won’t let them in. But when you get there it is one of the greatest privileges to experience that type of openness with your spouse.

2) Children

Genesis 1:28 – God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number.”

In other words, God told them to get jiggy with it and make some babies.  Children are one of the best blessings of marriage.  I know this from personal experience.

In God’s original plan, Children were to come as the result of a healthy marriage, and this is still the best plan for a family today.  God designed marriage to provide a healthy environment to raise children.   Raising children is hard work, but like marriage, anything worth having is worth working for.

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